Run away

I would like to live my everyday happily, doing my favourite things, explore new places and seeing people that I love. But I couldn't do certain things that I want, for instance meeting up with people that I seldom spent quality time with. Already had such little chances to see each other, also it's difficult to meet up and cannot really enjoy fully if really meet. Need to worry this then need worry that. Then still need be aware of the time. I really do envy some other people who can go out as and when they want, informing their parents and have no need to worry that they'll say no. To be able to just have fun, forget bout your worries and just enjoy that very moment to the fullest. To be happy, like really happy.

Exploring new places, not Singapore but other countries. Maybe bring a few friends along with me. We could go somewhere far enough, put away our life here. Forget bout everything, just go somewhere to escape whatever reality we don't wanna face. Maybe starting a new life there would be great too, because I'm so sick and tired of the boring life I have right now. It's true when people say that Dying was easier then living but if I were to be found dead, I couldn't say that I've lived my life to the fullest and with no regrets. People always tell us to live your life to the fullest, take every risk, don't hesitate because you'll never know what will happen tomorrow or in the next hour or in the next minute or even in the very next second. But yet, there's so much that's stopping us to really do the things we all long to do.

But there's nothing call enough because humans will never get enough of it. They will always want more and only more.Still, we're only only humans. What more can I really ask for. I have a wonderful family. I have really awesome friends. I have such a lovely bb . And lastly, I love them all. No matter what happen, I always will find a way to love them despite whatever shit that happens. Because without them, I don't know how am i gonna be able to live up to today.

Still there are times, where i felt really lonely and then depression starts to find it's way back to me and i have to admit, it always consumes me. I don't mind being alone because most of the time I am but whenever I'm alone my thoughts run freely in my head. Then my emotions will run freely too, before I know it, I've already broke down. Endlessly flow of tears. And all I could really use is just a simple warm hug...

Shall say no more about this.

xoxo Jay