Hold.back.tears

I felt totally awful right now. After looking through the past conversation, texts. I used to feel so secured when you call me baby. But ever since that day onwards, everything vanish away. Maybe i was wrong all the time, you never love me before, you only wanted to fool me and then walk away. Although you're not my boyfriend, i guess i had fell in love with our friendship.

Everyday i had to put on a strong and calm front when i'm in school but on the inside - It just get worst everyday. How am i suppose to act that i don't care when you're one of the people i care the most in my life. And the worst part of it, you doesn't seems to care or give a damn about me at all.

Everyday i tried hard to hold back all the tears and replace them with a smile or laugh. Even the matter had already past for 1 month, i'm still not over it. Because everything had gotten worst, i felt that i don't understand or know you. You don't seems to trust me, you never told me the reason why you're moody, last time. Maybe i should have notices it earlier, you never told me anything about yourself. Your thoughts, emotion and feelings.

Now i don't have somebody to talk this matter to, nobody understands, listen or care at all. Looking at your facebook wall, you sound so hurt and in pain. I wish i could know what happen, i want to be there to comfort you. I want you to know that, even if the person you love is gone, i will always be there just for you. I want you to love me as much as how i love you. People always say, don't get upset because it's over but be gratefull that it had happen.

I wonder, why can't we text, call and chat on msn like we used to,anymore? I just couldn't find the answer to this question. Maybe you know, becuase i think the problem is with you. But maybe the fault is on me. I really don't know what to do. Crying wouldn't change anything, doing silly things wouldn't do any help and just letting things be on it's own will only make me feel that it's wrong like that.

Come back again.