Sunday, June 26, 2011

There's so much fear in me, wish you were here.

Just the thought of school, it kills me. I can't believe that June holidays are over already, this one month passed really fast . Really had a time of my life but it's not enough. It'll never be enough, we'll never get enough too. Because when you're having fun, time passes really fast and before you knew it, it's a new day again. So, we got to enjoy every moment to the fullest because you'll never if you'll get to tomorrow. But there will always be something that's in the way but that doesn't stop you from getting or doing things. Because if you've got and done it and regretted, always remember that it's was something that you once wanted. So just risk it all.

But the holidays are over and i guess i've not enjoy enough. Now that school's starting, i've got to study hard and now slack anymore. Everyday, i've got to remember what happened during the first semester and not like it happen again because i don't want it to be like that. I want my top 10 position, i want good results, i want my scholarship, i don't wanna disappoint my love ones and i don't wanna regret. Bucause when i do, it's all to late like what happen during the first semester and it sucks. Like hell. And i don't wanna be looked down on. I don't want to worry about getting bad grades. Worry about sec 4 . I wanna enjoy my december holiday happily.

And in order for that to happen, i got to study hard from tomorrow onwards but the question is, can i do it. I really don't know, what if i can't . Just the thought of that, i can feel tears and the fear inside me. It kills me, it really does and the worst part is there's nothing i can do but hope that i'll be able to do it. I just need somboey here to support me, give me encouragement and just tell me that i've done my best. But like i say, it's never enough . I've got nobody to rely on, even though " you " once said that you'll support me. But...i don't feel you anymore. You're the reason to why i'm gonna study hard because i know that if i don't i'll regret it like how you always told me . But i don't know how long i can do this. I'm tired of it, studying and studying. Why some poeple can don't study yet get such good result ? I don't understand how life can be so unfair to everybody.

But it's life, and there's nothing any of us can do to charge the way it is. Shall stop here, can't continued this post no more. I'm about to break down..

Hope that second semester will be better for me.

24/7 listen to my prayers.

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