Tuesday, December 27, 2011

You wouldn't be like this forever. There'll be a change, but you gotta make it happen.

I don't know why this world can be so unfair. Some people can eat all they want and never gain weight at all. But some never eat also fat, got eat also fat. I mean, come on, do you think these people want to be fat. I know they do have a choice to change their lifestyle, eat more healthily or go exercise but serious, it's not that easy at all. You got to be really discipline, determined and self-motivated. Because losing weight isn't gonna be a over night thing, it's gonna be a long run shit that you don't even know how long you are gonna make it before you reach your goal. And it's gonna be like a commitment. You gotta keep yourself in control, do you think it's easy not to binge, it's not easy at all. Do you think it's easy to not be able to eat your favourite food as and when you like. Do you think that by exercising for a week and not expecting a result but end up, you're still the same. Then you'll be so disappointed and think it's already 1 week but there's no result and you'll be like "oh, I wanna give up. I can't go on this way anymore" . Then after that you'll wanna start all over then give up again. This cycle will just keep going. Unless, you're really determine and patient and very self-motivated. Do you think it's easy for a fat person to wear clothes and feel confidence. It's not at all. And that sort of confidence is really sexy. Really, respect. At least they're not a shame of their body. At least they know how to love themselves for what they are.

 For me, I'll never be able to. Because I'm not confidence bout my body at all. Flabby&huge arms, fat tummy and thighs . Collar bones ain't obvious enough, wondering where's my hip bone. Sigh, I sometimes wonder why do we have to go through puberty, isn't it suppose to make as feel more like a woman or something. Ever since puberty, I've eaten so much, I just kept eating, I know it's part of growing up. But look, I've become so meat. I'm disgusted by my own body.  Everytime I eat something, I'll feel extremely sinful, but I'm so lazy to go for a run or even go swimming. I know starving myself isn't gonna work, I did attempt it before and it's ain't good at all. You get headache easily and feel weak. I remember, I attempted to purge my food once, but the feeling is so horrible that I'll never do it again, ever. That's why I started eating lesser or not eating proper meals. Then I learned that, this isn't the way at all, I wanna do it the healthy way. I'm starting to eat proper meals and not eating unnecessary food after my meals. And exercising when I've got nothing to do instead of cuddling on bed with my bolster.

It's a lifestyle change, it's not gonna be easy but it's possible. Always keep in mind, if there's a will, there'll always be a way there.

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